Your the closest to Heaven that I'll ever be....

Dear DH,

We have your appointment next week. It's been 8 weeks since you stopped treatment.

Your specialist told us that your next lung function test will give us the"Big Picture".

I know you have been thinking about it alot.

I have been as well. It drives me insane this disease, living every single day with so much unpredictability.

It's not fair.

Why Us ?, why You ?.

I hate unpredictability just as much as I hate the disease.

This wasn't in our plans.

It wasn't our" Big Picture".

I watch you try so hard every day to help me around the house. You keep getting up time and time again to go to work only to collapse on the couch at home.

Weekends are a right off, you constantly fall asleep.

Nothing gets done, but it doesn't matter anymore.

Alot of things just dont matter anymore.

Life is too short.

I saw a group of cyclists the other day, I watched them for ages and remembered your days when it was you.

You so loved to cycle, you would be gone for hours.

Not anymore.

Just something else the disease has taken from you.

People tell me that everything happens for a reason, but no matter how much I try looking for one, I cant find it.

I ran into a lady yesterday, her brother has the same disease as you. She asked me how you were ?, I asked how her brother was?.

She said, they have given him less then a year.

Less then a year ?.

Imagine that, hunny, we have to be so damn grateful to this hated disease. Don't we ?.

So grateful we have never heard those words.

Do you remember our wedding vows?,

So faith, love and hope abide these three but the greatest of this is love ?

So true.

So here's to us Hunny Bunny, the most unpredictable couple in the whole wide world..

Humbled.

Adored.

I love our good night routine more then anything else in this world.

Me - Love you.

DH- Love you too.

Me- How much ?

DH- More then life itself.

How true.....